Sexiled defined

At the house meeting the other day, Steve made an effort to delicately introduce some sane rules about sexiling. It didn't go very well. Here is a transcript of that portion of the meeting:

Steve: Remember, our goal is make sure everyone feels like their room is their refuge, a place they can always feel they can retreat to and find a comfortable escape. So, be sure you have a conversation with your roommate (and suitemates) and set up some shared expectations about things like cleaning the shared space, playing loud music, and hosting overnight guests. Don't suddenly sexile your roommate, everyone should have access to their room.

First year student: Wait....What is "sexiling?"

Steve: Um. Well. Let's see. Say you come back to your room and your roomate is "engaged..."

Returning student: You don't have to be engaged.

Steve: Oh. Um... Schtuping?

Returning student: We don't all have Jewish grandmas.

Steve: Er. Right. Um. You come back and your roommate is "getting busy." Well, no one wants to see their roommate in that position.

Returning student: Wait. Stop. Bad turn of the phrase. Bad image.

Steve: Oh crap. Right. Okay. No one should put their roommate in that situation. That's what I meant.

It was painful. Steve inadvertently embarrassed himself, derailed the meeting, and made everyone in the room feel a little awkward. The point: Have the conversation about expectations in advance and figure out ways to not inconvenience your roommate. Another point: when Steve is ready to have "the conversation" with Jonah and Ellie years and years from now, maybe he should step aside and let Rebecca handle it.