Ellie's Hoover Birthday

Jonah and Ellie have celebrated every birthday they have ever had with Hoover. This means a lot of the same faces in their birthday photos. People move on. Yet they remain part of our Hoover community. Once a Hooverite always a Hooverite. And that's true for Jonah and Ellie too. They'll always be Hooverites.

Just the other day over breakfast, which really means between spills, because in our house breakfast is made up of a few minutes of feverishly fast eating bracketed by catastrophic spills, I was explaining to Ellie and Jonah the idea behind Benedict Anderson's Imagined Communities. That's not the guy who directed The Royal Tenenbaums. That's Wes Anderson. Benedict Anderson is a social scientist, like his brother Perry. In my head I see Jonah and Ellie following in their footsteps. Except instead of writing 600 page backpack busting books, they'll tweet.

The idea in Imagined Communities is that any community larger than a primordial village is an imagined community. Hoover isn't really larger than a primordial village. And we have some of the same problems our primordial ancestors did. Like surviving brutal winters and trying to find subsistence at Bartlett. But - and this is my point, although it took a characteristically long time to get here - once people move on and leave Hoover they become part of our imagined community. Preserved in our photos, but as importantly, in our thoughts. December third we'll reassemble for Jonah's birthday. He'll be four and it'll be the fourth birthday he's celebrated with Hoover. And in some sense, if you believe this stuff about Hoover being, in Anderson's words, "a deep, horizontal comradeship," that goes on and on and extends across time and through space, then every birthday Jonah and Ellie celebrate will be celebrated with their Hoover community. Jonah will be 40 on 12/3/45. That should be easy to remember. Let's meet in the lounge. I'll probably wear a blue shirt.

Trouble with the law

You know those celebrity mug shots that get published in the newspaper and all over the web? It happens every time someone famous gets arrested for something - driving too fast or kicking the authorities or just having bad hair (which is a crime in L.A.). Unfortunately, Ellie and Jonah had some legal trouble earlier today. Now their mug shots are all over the web.

Their legal representatives have told us not to say too much. But here's the basic story. We spent some time up on the north side today. Which always makes us a little nervous. We are all south siders at heart. And the pace of things on the north side, their inattentive drivers, and the price tags on things up there, all take a little getting used to. After a trip to the zoo and a little shopping we wanted to grab a bite to eat. Here in Hyde Park, of course, you can just walk into almost any dining establishment and get a seat right away. At most you wait a few minutes. That's not the way things are on the north side. Up there, restaurants routinely make you wait an hour or more for a table. And that's for brunch at a place that's no better than Salonica. They might have fancier lighting, and the place might be painted lime green and orange, and the chairs are usually deliberately mismatched. But, you know, you get waffles and eggs and pancakes. What's the whoop?

Well, when the hostess told us it was going to be an hour wait, Ellie cried. She's 2. She was hungry. It's understandable she'd cry. But it turns out there is a city law prohibiting crying in Lincoln Park restaurants. It interferes with the joie de vivre that Lincoln Parkers feel they have earned. After all, you don't pay that much for a condo to have it all ruined by someone crying at your brunch spot. There's an exception in the law for Cubs fans. I mean, think about it, how can you stop them from crying? That's what they do.

In any event, the restaurant called the police. They showed up and asked Ellie to quit crying. She couldn't. Then they arrested Jonah too because he was talking about dinosaurs. According to the law, while waiting for their table, diners are supposed to stand on the sidewalk outside the restaurant and talk about pleasant things. And while it isn't explicitly illegal to talk about dinosaurs, the police said it violated the spirit of the law, because dinosaurs are all extinct. And that's a little sad.

If you want to contribute to Ellie and Jonah's legal defense fund, feel free to buy a Hell Does Freeze Over shirt, using the convenient Pay Pal button to the right. Just don't wear the shirt to brunch in Lincoln Park. It might bum out someone.

Dancing in the ER

With injuries and illnesses, Hooverites have had their share of trips to the ER lately. It's so reassuring, though, every time you pull up to the ER and find an army of begowned doctors and nurses waiting to administer care. Well. It's kind of like that.

Please: let's try to stay healthy Hoover. But one thing about this recent surge of visits to the ER - we've gotten to see Hooverlove in action. From friends who stay (and stay and stay and stay) with Hooverites waiting to get treated, to spontaneous song and dance routines in the ER, to Hooverites sharing their phones so complete strangers can make 30 minute calls to 1-800 numbers of questionable pedigree. We've offered to buy candy and soda for non-Hooverites made miserable by long waits. We've even - gasp! - set aside our books for hours at a time so we can sit beside friends when they needed us. Here at the University of Chicago, that is the greatest sacrifice we can make. And a pure expression of Hooverlove.

Hula Hoop Summit

When Jonah said he was going to go outside to hula hoop with Michelle, we naturally assumed he meant our Hoover neighbor. No. Turns out Jonah had a hula hoop summit with FLOTUS. He asked her a lot of questions - about strategies for building a wider public consensus around the public option, about the perverse incentives introduced into Wall Street decision making when bonuses are poorly linked to performance metrics, and why Sasha likes Babo's Bird better than Ice Bat. Jeez! Everybody knows Ice Bat is the coolest.

Diapers in space

Like a lot of us, Jonah has a pretty narrow window on the world. In his case, though, because the window is on a rocket ship, things are moving by pretty fast. That's probably true for a lot of you too. First year Hooverites are probably scratching their heads over the fact that they have to study for mid-terms already, even though the quarter just started. In the U. of C. universe that's just the way things go.

But back to Jonah. I have been trying for years to get him interested in space travel. When I was a kid I loved space travel, and I wanted to pass that on to him. I explained to him that space is full of wonderful things and mind-boggling phenomena. And because space is incapable of self-consciousness, the only way for its properties and immenseness to be mapped out and appreciated is for us to do it. Since we are made up of space dust - we are physical depositories of some of the matter created in the big bang - we can, in a way, be the instrument for the universe to know itself. Usually, when I talk like this, Jonah just stares at me.

When Jonah learned that astronauts wear diapers, he had a whole new view of things. Like a lot of 3 year olds, Jonah is at that point where he is leaving diapers behind. And like a lot of 3 year olds, his steps into this new diaper-less world are halting and unsteady. Much like Neil Armstrong's first steps on the moon were. But in a short time, Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were leaping from crater to crater, feeling freed of Earth's gravity. I tried to use this as a metaphor, to point out to Jonah that he, too, will soon be leaping freely, relieved of the added weight of his diaper. But, being the smart guy he is, he said: "But Daddy, they were wearing diapers." Or as he insists on calling them now, Maximum Absorption Garments.

Uneasy alliance

Okay. I studied politics. I'm not a utopianist. I know alliances are negotiated for strategic purposes. But this is huge. Hoover and May share a common border, like Russia and China, or India and Pakistan, or - and here's the more hopeful thought - Canada and the U.S. Let's just work it out. Lay out a framework for peace. Bring together the negotiators and push past any disagreements. After all, we can all agree, it's a little unsettling the way Alper has been making unprovoked incursions into Hoover territory. Sure, it's mostly restricted to the third floor right now. But without a show of Hoover/May unity, won't Alper get a little cocky? Aren't they just testing us? Before you know it they're going to occupy the study rooms.

The O-Book is here! The O-Book is here!

The O-Book has arrived. At least the digital version has. You'll get yours when you move in. The O-Book is the University of Chicago's annual guide to everything that will happen during your first week in Chicago. Well not everything. You're going to make some friends too. I don't think the O-Book mentions that. But the team of administrators, writers, students, media consultants, pop-psychologists, and shamans who assembled the O-Book don't know about the persuasive power of Hooverlove.

It's natural to feel a little intimidated by the prospect of starting a new life at a new school. But don't be worried. We'll have experienced staff here on move-in day to help everything go smoothly. Jonah and Ellie (pictured above) have been helping Hooverites move in their whole lives. And they'll be available to play in the halls afterward, to help you through any lonely moments. They are experienced at that too. In fact, given a choice between playing and reading difficult books in a sunless library for hours, they'll always choose to play. They're different than you that way. But that's OK. In Hoover, we love diversity.

Meet the RAs

Hoover has two RAs, or Assistant Resident-Heads. The abbreviation doesn't make sense. It should be ARs, but the problem is that might be pronounced "arse," and that's not right. Or maybe ARHs, and that sounds like pirate-speak. So leave it alone. They're RAs. We want to give them a chance to say hello.

My name is Caileigh Pudela. I'm a fourth year, and I'm majoring in biology/pre-med. On campus, you can find me hanging out in Hoover, playing sports, volunteering and working at the hospital, and trying to get people to participate in Relay For Life, a really cool fundraiser that I co-chair for the American Cancer Society. I guess I spend a lot of time in the library and the dining hall, too. My favorite Hyde Park places are the Medici Bakery, the point, and C-Shop, so you might have to join me in a trip or two there! I'm from Lombard, Illinois, but when I'm at school, room 322 in Hoover is my home. You will always be welcome to stop by to talk or hang out! I can't wait to meet you all!

My name's John Paul Thompson, I'm from Dallas, Texas, and I'm a third year majoring in Anthropology and minoring in Music. Speaking of which, hope y'all like music because I play guitar, piano and violin, and would love to jam! I also love to cook, so hopefully we can swap recipes once we all get to Chicago. Even if you don't play or cook, my doors will always be open so be sure to come hang out, chit-chat, play scrabble, or whatever. Can't wait to meet y'all! Safe travels.

Greetings to the new roommates *

Dear New Hooverites (As we like to call ourselves!):

Welcome to Hoover, the coolest house around! We’re the Hoover Resident Heads, Steve and Rebecca. We live on the second floor of Hoover with our two children: Jonah, (3 ½), and Ellie, (1 ½). This is our fourth year in Hoover and we love living here. Jonah and Ellie are particularly fond of playing in Hoover’s hallways and are always looking for Hooverites to hang out with them. Guitar jam sessions with Hoover friends are one of our favorite afternoon activities.

We’re excited that you’ll soon arrive at the University of Chicago. The University has played an important role in our lives. We met here. Steve earned his Ph.D. here. We got married in a beautiful historic building on campus. Jonah and Ellie were born at the University of Chicago Medical Center. Steve now works as an Associate Dean in the Graham School, the continuing education division of the University. Rebecca is Director of Events and Conferences at the Law School. We have spent many years in Chicago (Rebecca grew up in Hyde Park), but also have lived in Ann Arbor, MI; Oxford, OH; Cleveland, OH; Ithaca, NY; and Brooklyn, NY.

Hoover is a great house filled with spirit. Hooverites like to study hard and like to have fun. We enjoy going on all sorts of trips, whether it’s to a baseball game, the Art Institute, apple picking, or the north side for shopping. We like to turn-out for sporting events on campus and cheer for our Hoover athletes. We also like to play intramural sports: water polo, basketball, touch football, and broom ball to name a few, all of which are strongly encouraged but purely optional. Hooverites are also really fond of hanging out in our lounge for weekly study breaks and movie nights. Speaking of study breaks, it’s a good idea to bring a small plate, bowl or mug, fork, and spoon to campus. They come in handy for eating study break snacks.

Hooverites love to try all kinds of food and are big fans of traveling to Chicago neighborhoods to dine at different ethnic restaurants. Last year we visited Chinatown, Koreatown, and Devon Avenue for Indian and Ethiopian food. We also had Thai, Middle Eastern, and fondue dinners in our lounge. We’re seriously into fund-raising (and fun-raising!) for our House. Serf Auction is an annual tradition where we sell each other our labor and services. Several items for sale last year were a bagel and lox brunch, bathroom cleaning services (this comes in very handy right before your parents visit!), help with O-Chem homework, and lessons for ice skating, Irish dancing, swimming, and cooking. The t-shirts we designed with “Hell Does Freeze Over” emblazoned on them, sold out last year. (See the link to the right, where you can buy one!)

We throw annual Super Bowl and Oscar Night parties and we’ve been especially proud to claim our own independent Scavenger Hunt team. Whether that tradition continues will be a choice you'll weigh in on. The Hoover Concert is a spring tradition where Hooverities can show off
their many talents! Making s’mores at the nearby “Point” (a beautiful park along the lakefront) is also a favorite activity.

Hoover has two great RA’s (Resident Head Assistants): Caileigh Pudela and John Paul Thompson. Caileigh lives on the third floor, while John Paul’s room is on the first floor next to Hoover Lounge.

We're looking forward to meeting everyone (and welcoming returning Hooverites back)!

- Steve, Rebecca, Ellie and Jonah

* The title for this posting is a sly reference to a Billy Bragg song, Greetings to the New Brunette.

Greetings To The New Brunette ...

Vacation time!

Every summer we face the lonely silence of Hoover hallways emptied of Hooverites. One way we cope is travel. We hit the road, enjoy summer travel, as Americans have done for generations. Our vacations are pretty much like yours. We face delays at the airport.




We get stuck in vacation traffic.




But it is all worthwhile to enjoy the quiet, simple life of the country.

Jonah: Reality show star

Courtesy of Bravo. TV Cast members Camille, 17, and Jonah, 3, on Bravo’s new series, supposedly a real-life “Gossip Girl.”

June 4, 2009, 11:25 am

Born Rich A Preview of Bravo’s ‘NYC Prep’

Slumped down in the front few rows of an auditorium on Monday, the mostly teenage stars of the new Bravo reality television show “NYC Prep”, which will have its debut on June 23, looked anxious, like kids caught doing something naughty, unsure of the punishment that awaits them. They had been summoned for a media preview of the show, held at the Paley Media Center. They were in trouble, but they had no idea how bad it would get.

“NYC Prep,” which comes from the programming minds that brought you the “Real Housewives” franchise, is a documentary series that purports to be a real life “Gossip Girl.” Five of the six young principals live on the Upper East Side and all — except one — attend unnamed private schools. They lead the lives of, as Andy Cohen, Bravo’s unctuous executive vice president of programming puts it, “mini-adults.” He didn’t mean little people, big world (that’s a TLC show). He meant that his stars are adults stuck in the awkward (but fat-free) bodies of teenagers.

Since Bravo’s camera crew was understandably barred from filming inside the school, the action is all extracurricular. “My hobby,” says Jonah, a doe-eyed 3-year-old ladies’ man, “is playing ball in the hall with the girls from the second floor.”

The other preoccupation of adulthood-in-a-teenage-mind is shopping — a constant activity. Jessie, 16, is passionate about fashion and has had, she boasts, a personal shopper at Barneys since she was 13. But she’s also hip and with it and thus takes a trip to the Bowery boutique White and Blue, where she tries on a dress. “OMG,” says the saleswoman, “you look like you’re from Gossip Girl.” “Gossip Girl?, I hate that show,” says Jessie, before departing via Suburban back uptown to her red-velvet-wallpapered home. Jonah, too is obsessed about shopping. But his main targets are toys. “Right now I want to get all the cars from the movie Cars. My daddy says I need to be patient, but heckabagosh, you’re only little once. I mean, am I going to be playing with Mater when I’m 16 and old and boring? Nope. I’ve got to get a lot of playing in now.”

This play hard now attitude is something all the show’s stars agree on.

In a nutshell, these kids lead reckless, privileged, precocious lives, whipping small hiccups into stiff peaks and saying rash and ill-advised things like “I have my own credit card. I don’t know how much I use it” and “we’re the elite of the elite.” Jonah summed up the lives of these giddy kids: “I can make funny faces and I run really fast.” Then he issued a challenge: “Do you want to race?”

Et tu, Nate?

Nate? How could you do this? How could you say this about us? You were one of us.

Here's what Nate Silver said about the University of Chicago - heck, about us - in a recent posting on his blog:

Having attended the University of Chicago, where there are plenty of booksmart people that you wouldn't consider particularly bright, I can tell you that the correlation between intelligence and educational attainment is considerably less than one-to-one.

Huh? Not bright? Obviously Nate hasn't spent much time on campus lately. The folks here are so bright I have to wear shades. I mean, this past weekend a U of Cer created a hydraulic device that can shoot hot dogs into a crowd! No wonder we have so many Nobel prizes.

Nate take your dagger and go home. We are impervious to your attacks.

Yea Emma!

It's official. We have a new champ! Emma is the most popular baby name this year. Displacing that soggy old has-been, Emily. See ya Emily! Don't let the screen door slam on your way out.

We told Jonah that Emma was the most popular name in the country. He said: "Yeah, cause Emma is so crazy." Being from the U of C, I thought about the historical significance of this, and I think we can safely say the Red Scare is over. Welcome back Emma!

Message to Emmas everywhere: Don't get too confident. Eliana is coming up fast behind you. Eliana has jumped 100 places in the past 3 years. That's momentum. That's unstoppable.

Shhhh! Santa is sleeping.

You know what I love about Santa? He gives and gives and gives. Yeah, I know, he can be horribly judgmental. This whole naughty or nice thing? No way should one old guy be able to make that determination on his own, without a full consideration of the context and all the facts. But still, I think he means well. His toy supply has to be finite. He has to make good choices about who gets them. Why waste perfectly good toys on spoiled little brats? Sure the elves slave away day after day after day making toys. But they have to rest sometime. They can't make en endless supply of toys. Hey! I wonder if they have a union? A health plan? Paid vacation? If you think about it, the North Pole is a sweatshop operation. Except it's cold, so there may not be much sweating. But still. Geez. I bet it's like any other off-shore production facility, designed to avoid OSHA rules and EPA oversight. Scratch what I said. Turns out Santa is a greedy creep.

But not Aash. Here's a guy who really does give and give. He is one-hundred and ten percent Scav. He stays up all night preparing lime green Chinese lanterns. Dozes. Wakes up. Checks his email to see if anyone has found a dog he can put a swimsuit on. Gets to work rewiring his cell phone so it emits an aroma when someone calls.

Spring? Ha! Did they tell you Spring would come?

Welcome to Spring Quarter. It may be 34 degrees outside. But with the sunshine, and the lake breeze, it feels like...well, 34 degrees. But it's not gray all the time! And it's not dark when you leave class! C'mon! Put on a sweater. A couple of sweaters. And a parka. You'll be fine. You won't need that hat. Put that phone down. Do not call your family in South Carolina! It was not a mistake coming here. The chill will leave your bones.

Consider this a tip o' the hat to our new e-business. Tell your friends. Tell your mom in South Carolina. Your Grandma in Albuquerque. They can buy our Hell Does Freeze Over t-shirts on-line now, for a limited time. Just use the convenient Pay Pal button right here on the Hooverlove blog. Remember how unbelievably cold it was in January? And how you never thought the quarter would end? Even though it had just begun? And the work - ugh! - how could anyone handle that much work? How is it possible to have a mid-term EVERY WEEK!

Well, now you can share that feeling with a loved one, by giving the shirt that captures all of that in a few icy words.

Friends

Friends. I never liked that show. Ross? No way that guy could be a college professor. For one thing, he was dopey. And, while he wasn't that good looking, he was still better looking than any college professors I have seen. Phoebe? No one in New York is that mystical and flaky. It's a feet-on-the-ground city. That free gypsy soul act is so much more Laurel Canyon than Manhattan. Sorry Californians. And who buys that that group of people would be friends? And that they would have the jobs they have? Chef, actor, professor, guitar-playing masseuse, some type of gig with Ralph Lauren? Only Chandler had a real job, full of boring nonsense and stupid responsibilities, like the rest of us. But I hated the irritating and demeaning "is Chandler gay?" jokes that popped up all the time. Hey, Friends writers: it would be okay if he was.

But, geez, I've wandered away. Here's my point. Hoover friends are a good thing. We always see Hooverites coming together to take care of a friend who is sick or down in the dumps. As Phoebe might say: it's a groovy thing.

Hoover ≠ suck

Look. I can't edit everyone's essays and blog postings. But can't we have a Manual of Style or something that makes this clear: Hoover isn't a verb. It's a proper noun. And a brand name. And the first two syllables of the the word Hooverlove. But not a verb. And it never, never, never should be used as a synonym for suck.

I was passing time as I do during my lunch break, reading different things on the web. Downloading some songs by the Cheetah Girls. Freaking out that Filth and Wisdom was denied an Oscar nod. Then I came across this on Slate.com:

Slumdog Millionaire, with 10 nominations (second only to Benjamin Button's 13), seems positioned to Hoover up every award in sight by virtue of being the cute, inoffensive crowd pleaser that no one hates.

Grrrrrrr. I hate that! Why couldn't this essayist just use the word "suck." Why Hoover? Why not "vacuum" or even, in this context, "grab." Look, nothing wrong with being linked with Slumdog Millionaire. Hooverites have told me how much they like the movie. It seems like a great underdog story. And the movie being nominated for Best Picture? Heckabagosh! That's a feel-good story too. A little movie that could, going nose to nose with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which cost $150 million to make, has two studios behind it, and stars tabloid heart-throb Brad Pitt. What's not to love? Go Slumdog! But that's not the point. Can I say this one more time? Maybe in a way you math-heads will get: Hoover ≠ suck.