Trouble with the law

You know those celebrity mug shots that get published in the newspaper and all over the web? It happens every time someone famous gets arrested for something - driving too fast or kicking the authorities or just having bad hair (which is a crime in L.A.). Unfortunately, Ellie and Jonah had some legal trouble earlier today. Now their mug shots are all over the web.

Their legal representatives have told us not to say too much. But here's the basic story. We spent some time up on the north side today. Which always makes us a little nervous. We are all south siders at heart. And the pace of things on the north side, their inattentive drivers, and the price tags on things up there, all take a little getting used to. After a trip to the zoo and a little shopping we wanted to grab a bite to eat. Here in Hyde Park, of course, you can just walk into almost any dining establishment and get a seat right away. At most you wait a few minutes. That's not the way things are on the north side. Up there, restaurants routinely make you wait an hour or more for a table. And that's for brunch at a place that's no better than Salonica. They might have fancier lighting, and the place might be painted lime green and orange, and the chairs are usually deliberately mismatched. But, you know, you get waffles and eggs and pancakes. What's the whoop?

Well, when the hostess told us it was going to be an hour wait, Ellie cried. She's 2. She was hungry. It's understandable she'd cry. But it turns out there is a city law prohibiting crying in Lincoln Park restaurants. It interferes with the joie de vivre that Lincoln Parkers feel they have earned. After all, you don't pay that much for a condo to have it all ruined by someone crying at your brunch spot. There's an exception in the law for Cubs fans. I mean, think about it, how can you stop them from crying? That's what they do.

In any event, the restaurant called the police. They showed up and asked Ellie to quit crying. She couldn't. Then they arrested Jonah too because he was talking about dinosaurs. According to the law, while waiting for their table, diners are supposed to stand on the sidewalk outside the restaurant and talk about pleasant things. And while it isn't explicitly illegal to talk about dinosaurs, the police said it violated the spirit of the law, because dinosaurs are all extinct. And that's a little sad.

If you want to contribute to Ellie and Jonah's legal defense fund, feel free to buy a Hell Does Freeze Over shirt, using the convenient Pay Pal button to the right. Just don't wear the shirt to brunch in Lincoln Park. It might bum out someone.